saltburnt: june au.

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JAKE SERESIN
SALTBURNT'S OWN GENTLEMAN THIEF

You’re a thief and a liar. I only lied about being a thief. I don’t do that anymore. Steal? Lie. — ocean's eleven.

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THE BACKSTORY A flash of teeth and a toothpick. Saltburnt's own family friend of a friend — you know how it goes. Golden haired, bright eyed, a long-time guest of the manor who vanished, like clockwork, for months at a time. Always came back with something shiny and sparkly, despite saying he worked for some talent agency out in San Diego. And then, one day, he didn't come back at all. What we're trying to find out is: was there a reason you chose to commit this crime, or was there a reason why you simply got caught this time? My wife left me. I was upset. I got into a self-destructive pattern. If released, is it likely you would fall back into a similar pattern? She already left me once. I don't think she'll do it again just for kicks. (read more) Back. For good, this time. Once under the employ of a man named Iceman who eventually turned him in to get out scot-free, Jake's turn in the art of thievery is, he swears, completely done for good. He's clean. He's reformed. He doesn't spend all his time planning on how to steal right back from Iceman on Maverick's behalf, or doodling exit plans on napkins, or indulging in everything the manor has to offer in-between intricate plans of recruitment speeches and revenge. Not in the least. Not at all. Of course you believe him — he just got out of prison, remember? How much planning could he have really done while in the slammer?

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THE RUMORS husband #1 to anora mikheeva. go on, ask him about it; he's on the straight and narrow now. no lies, ever. has an eerily accurate recreation of fragonard's the swing hanging up above his saltburnt bed. it can't be the original. unless. unless? (steve rogers couldn't possibly have been involved.) runs a poker ring where he teaches several of the manor's celebrity clientele to play high stakes poker, effectively. they have never, ever played with something as invaluable as money on the line — more like clothes, shame, dignity. it's mostly a good time, unless you feel like losing on purpose. his dick has a perfect curve. (it doesn't, he just makes it feel that way with his hips.) knows exactly how he'd dispose of every guest, all the while taking the watch off your wrist. also knows their favorite way to have eggs in the morning. (thank you, butler giles.)

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CONNECTIONS + NOTES ani. actually wife #1. double actually, more like the wife. he pretends (insults?) her all the time by never actually referring to her as the ex wife. are you a celebrity? do you want another debauched extra-curricular? let him teach you blackjack. have you and jake worked together before? to update properly: murphy (criminals), rosa (private tutoring and also "tutoring"), homie (celebrity poker ring), silco (room rights), riley (run-ins), koby (diabolical amount of staring from jake i'm sure this'll be funny later), steve (professionals + museum heists), henry/saber (poker and crime do pay)